


The Facts of Life

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Future, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-24
Updated: 2008-03-24
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: A story that we just couldn't fit into Announcements but that had to be told.





	The Facts of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:

We hope this will whet your taste for some more Announcements. 

* * *

"Gus, what are you staring at?"

He answered as if in a trance, never diverting his eyes from across the pool. "That boy over there. His mom is really fat."

I reached over and grabbed his chin, turning it to me. "First of all, it’s not polite to stare, and secondly, she’s not fat, Gus, she’s pregnant." I could hardly blame the boy for looking, however. The woman had to be at least seven months along and her belly was hanging out of her swimming suit, for Christ sake. Since when did this become acceptable public attire?

"Do you know what ‘pregnant’ means?" I asked.

"Yup, she’s gonna have a baby, right?"

"That’s right," I told him. Case closed...or so I thought.

Suddenly he got excited. Hopping down from his chair to stand next to the one I was reclining in, he exclaimed, "Oh, Dad! Justin says I’m supposed to ask you how you make a baby."

I leaned up, squinting. "He did, did he?" _Seemed like a pretty odd request considering the source._

"Yup. I 'ready know that it takes a mom and a dad and that the dad’s penis has to stick up to make one."

I could hear a woman approximately ten feet to my left let out a little snicker.

"And how do you know that?" I inquired.

"Justin showed me. Did you know his sticks up, Dad? And it's big!"

I sat there, dumbfounded, listening to stifled laughter to my left and staring at Gus with a horrified look on my face as he continued.

"He said yours does too, sometimes."

With that came a loud guffaw. I turned and glared at her while she quickly ducked her head into the magazine that was resting on her lap.

Focusing my attention back on Gus, I stupidly asked, "And what else did Justin tell you?" _As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I was afraid to hear the answer._

"That you'd ‘splain it to me cos you know all about everything. I wanna make a baby, Dad, but I don’t know how."

"Well, Gus, even if you did know how, you couldn’t because you’re too young."

"When will I be old enough?"

"Not for a long, long, time, squirt." I smiled and he looked disappointed. "You know from living with J.R. how much work having a baby around the house is. It’s not something you could take care of just yet."

"But how did you and Mamam make me?"

_Jesus, I wasn’t ready for this._ Looking into those big brown eyes set in that angelic face, how could I tell him I jerked off into a paper cup at a grungy bar and that he was shot up his mother’s twat with a turkey baster? Obviously, I couldn't. That story might have to be saved for some drunken night out with Dad after he turned twenty-one. Or, on second thought, never at all.

In an attempt to keep him from broadcasting his soon-to-be newly acquired knowledge to the rest of the complex, I pulled him up on the lounge chair with me. Spreading my legs, I settled him between them with his back to my chest. Then I took a deep breath, crooked my head around to his ear and joined the legions of fathers who have preceded me into this mine field.

"Well, you know boys and girls have different parts, right, Gus?"

"Yeah," he said as he rolled his eyes and turned to look at me. "I’ve seen Mom and Maman without clothes on, Dad. They don’t have penises like us."

"Right, they have something called a vagina. It’s an opening into their bodies that a dad's penis fits into."

"Did yours fit inside Maman?"

"Yes." _Better than the alternative, I reminded myself...better than the alternative._ "Moms also have eggs inside of them." I continued as his eyes got huge.

"Not the kind of eggs you're thinking of, Gus. These are very tiny and they don't have shells. Dads make a liquid in their bodies that contains something called sperm. When they want to make a baby, it comes out of their penis into the mom's vagina. Then, when the dad's sperm and the mom's egg meet, a baby grows."

"How does the baby get outta there?"

"Usually the same way it went in, Gus. Through the mom's vagina."

"Cool," he squealed.

_Cool? I didn't think this was cool. I don't think I ever thought this was cool._

"So only moms can grow babies?"

"Yes."

"But you gotta have a mom and dad to start one? Just like Justin said?"

"Yes."

"Justin's really smart, Dad."

_His reasoning slayed me but I was ready to grasp at any offer, no matter how absurd, to change the subject._

"Yeah, that Justin, he's simply amazing," I confirmed sarcastically.

Gus turned to face me then, flung his arms around my neck and squeezed hard.

"Hey, what was that for?" I asked as he hopped down, ready to hit the slide once again.

"It was for makin’ me. Thanks, Dad!" He yelled as he ran away.

_I shook my head, smiled and thought, The unexpected pleasure has been mine, son...all mine._

 


End file.
